One of the most challenging tasks in networking is perhaps convincing yourself to be more socially active.  Here are some tips to help you prepare yourself before your next networking function:

1. Before the event, write down what your strengths, attributes and special skills are.  Think about why someone might be interested in what you have to offer. Keep these strengths in your head to help boost your confidence and remind yourself why people should be talking with you and listening to what you have to say.

2. Visualise the event.  Picture the room in your mind, picture yourself shaking hands and talking with people. Visualising everything that you will be doing it can really help you get over your shyness. Visualisation is one of the most powerful tools and it is often used by many successful people in business, sports or entertainment.

3. At the event, make sure your posture is confident - a controlled walk, a smile on your face and a firm handshake to those you meet will do wonders to convey your confidence. Always make lots of eye contact and use the immediate environment as a conversation starter, for instance, the venue or the host. This will help you to find a common thread and to keep the conversation going. Always start with small talk before you get down to business.

4. When you need to get down to business, make sure you have some questions prepared that you can ask people in order to find out what their needs are.  Based on their answers, shape the conversation to reflect the way your services will help them in these areas. You don’t have to be pushy, use a soft sell technique to introduce yourself and build their interest. This will make the people you meet more receptive to be helped by you.

5. Talking is only part of the event. When it is your turn to speak, remember to repeat the individual’s name back to that person and actively listen to what they have to say.  Keep a mental database of as many details as you can about the person to whom you are talking to. If possible ask for their business card. The best time to ask is usually after they have talked about what they do.  You can then offer yours in return.

6. When you return home, be sure to write out information on the back of the card or a sheet of paper that can be stapled to the card. This way you can maintain and build and rapport for future meetings, emails and phone calls. Everyone likes a person who remembers them. Within the next twenty-four hours, be sure to email everyone you met.  Tell them that you enjoyed meeting them, mention a detail that your remember about them and suggest that they keep in touch with you.

If you want to learn more about being successful at networking, a really good book is “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie.  It’s an oldie but a real goodie and a “must have” book for any personal library.

A terrific summary of the most pertinent points in this book can be found at a site called “Westegg“:

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six ways to make people like you

1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.